And now, here I am, watching the wedding of Will & Kate, and catching up on my blog. It seems appropriate. I hadn't planned to watch the wedding at all. In fact, I'm exhausted. It's been a long day. My little dog is not well - probably not going to recover - so it's been a trying and tiring day, emotionally. I was sitting here, worried, fretting, looking for some sort of distraction, and naturally, the TV led me to the wedding.
I am a hopeless romantic. You'd think that I might have a bitterness in me towards romance, but I don't. I love it. I am much more cautious, but I still believe. I think fairytales exist, and should exist, and fairytale romances can be real if both partners want them to be. We create our reality, right?
When Kylie was 1 year old, and I had relaxed a little emotionally, I started to seriously think about trying to date again. I sincerely want a home and family of my own, and more children - and would gladly sacrifice all other things for that.
Fate is amazing. It led my boyfriend and me to each other. Is that ridiculously romantic? Everything happens for a reason, even the stuff we think is terrible at the time. I have no regrets, and I have no ill feeling at all towards my ex. Sure, I was angry at the time, but not anymore. Everyone has their own path to take, ours crossed for a moment, and then when it was time, our paths continued in different directions. And then my path crossed someone else's.
My fiance and I come from similar relationship backgrounds. He, too, is divorced, and for the same reasons. We have trust issues. But we also understand each other when that happens. And things are looking up - the trust is growing all the time. Kylie adores him, and he adores her. We struggle. We work through and we heal each other. We are complete opposites, which means we help balance each other, and we also drive each other nuts sometimes. But we understand this, and we sincerely want to be better people and support each other. We make each other laugh. We pick each other up, and we hold each other's hands.
Fairytales are amazing. They are filled with romance and "Happily Ever Afters", but they are not without conflict. A princess who is almost murdered by her step-mother for her beauty, a step-mother who makes a slave of her step-daughter, a girl locked in a tower by a witch as revenge against her parents, and a sleeping spell cast on a princess by a jealous fairy... just to mention a few. Besides teaching us that there is a "Happily Ever After" (which I'm not bitter or smart enough yet to give up on), I think they teach us that we don't struggle alone or for naught: that everyone has a challenge to get through before they are rewarded with contentment, even princesses. And that it may take a while to get there, but it does come, and not without effort. I dunno. It's late and I'm exhausted. I hope it's true. It would be terrible if you struggled for nothing. And you can't be happy unless you let yourself be happy. If you're always frustrated, angry, upset or sad, what kind of person do you think you might be? So choose to be happy. And I choose to still believe in fairytales. So there.
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